So for those of you who may not know, here is the back story to this Asthma business:
On Black Friday 2009, my beautiful baby boy had a life threatening asthma attack.
I can remember the day clearly:
Autry is on a stretcher in the airplane. I am between to EMT’s on the Life Watch team. I am also nine months pregnant, and I am scared to death of what my happen next. Autry is so scared, he is crying, his strider is awful, and his chest retractions are so deep that the cave in his chest looks like you could fit a softball in it. With two IV boards strapped to his arm he reaches up for me and he says “Mama.” It’s the last word he can squeeze out before he begins to go downhill. The female EMT grabs my leg and says “Mom.” That’s all she has to say to me and I immediately know what’s about to take place. Morphine first, and then with amazing precision, Autry will need to be intubated.
Upon Arrival to Wesley Medical Center in Wichita Kansas, I just remember being so scared that I would never be able to see Autry again. My first question was is he going to be ok? The doctor held my hand and she said “we are going to do everything we can to help him.“ I remember feeling my heart drop into my stomach. I remember when Autry was laying lifeless in that steel framed crib in the PICU, all I kept telling God was that I just wanted one more day with him. I just needed another day to hold on to my baby! Several doctors told my parents that the outcome of this situation was still very shady and that it was tough to say if Autry would make it. I kept asking everyone if Autry was going to be ok, and the best answer that I could get from anyone was that he was in stable but critical condition.
Once Autry was checked into PICU and in stable condition, the Dr. told me that Autry would likely be on the tubes for 3-5 days. It would be at least 3 days before I could hold my baby! I wouldn’t be able to hear his voice, see his beautiful smile, or make him laugh! She gave me a huge hug and she said that I needed to be strong. That would prove to be a real challenge for me over the next 3 days. Within 72 hours we would find out that Autry has Asthma, which was triggered by the Para Influenza virus. We would also learn that while on the breathing tube, Autry had developed Pneumonia and a Staph infection in his lungs.
A machine was breathing for my baby, and I am telling you that is one of the scariest things you will ever witness. These moments went on for us for 3 days. I think during those 72 critical hours, I slept for 6.. Autry began to really swell, and he was looking as if he was in a tremendous amount of pain. Respiratory Therapist after Respiratory Therapist would visit us every hour on the hour to check the ventilator or to give Autry a breathing treatment of some sort. The RT would tell us that we really needed to hope for a leak around his air tube so that we could get Autry off his breathing tube. Every hour that went by, I would look at the ventilator – and I would watch for the 0% leak to move – It never happened. On the morning of day 3 I woke up to an RT who was “playing” with the machine. She said “playing” to an RT is actually a good term, and she was just trying to fix the machines numbers to Autry’s needs. While she was “playing” our Pediatric Intenseivist came in to tell me that we wouldn’t be taking Autryeak around his air tube so that we could get Autry off his breathing tube. Every hour that went by, I would look at the ventilator – and I would watch for the 0% leak to move – It never happened. On the morning of day 3 I woke up to an RT who was “playing” with the machine. She said “playing” to an RT is actually a good term, and she was just trying to fix the machines numbers to Autry’s needs. While she was “playing” our Pediatric Intenseivist came in to tell me that we wouldn’t be taking Autry off his breathing tube, however we would trade the tube out for a smaller one. “GOD NO!” is all I could think. I had spent the last 3 days praying and praying, prayer chains were started all over the place. I knew that prayers had been pouring in, and still they weren’t going to be answered! “Please God,” I just want to hold my baby! I just want to hear him say “Hi Mama.” like he told me every single morning. I silently said one last prayer, “Lord, please hear my prayer, and please let me hold my baby.”
Later that morning the RT told the Dr. that she thought maybe he should listen to Autry breath without the machine. So, she turned down the machine for a few seconds. It was the scariest few seconds I have ever endured. Turning down the machine means taking the breath away from Autry. I couldn't hear a thing, I just stood there holding my breath and wondering what this would do to my baby. Then I heard “I hear a leak.” That’s right, I heard the doctor say “I hear a leak.” All I can remember is feeling like I was going to fall right out of my chair – immediately I wondered "did I hear him correctly?" The doctor looked at me and said “Mom, I hear a leak, so we are going to attempt to take him off his breathing tube, however 90% of the time, when we remove a tube too early, we must re-intubate and that comes with greater risk because the airways are already so swollen.”
I remember thinking I can’t watch! The Doctors didn’t want to have anyone in the way just in case they would have to immediately re-intubate Autry. I stood by the nurse’s station and watched and prayed, and prayed and prayed. Moments later they told me that everything was ok, and that I could see Autry. I remember rushing to his side, I wanted to hear him. I wanted to talk to him. My mom was there with me, and I remember watching her cry and rub his hair. She said “Autry, Nana is here. It’s Nana. I love you so much. Be strong for Nana.”
The Nurses handed me my son, and I just over flowed with emotion. I remember tears were just rolling down my face and onto Autry. He wasn’t awake, but I knew he could feel me, and hear me, and I knew he still loved me. He didn’t wake for quite a while after the breathing tube was taken out. Once he woke, He said “Mags.” MAGS! Really? Your first word to Mama is going to me Mags? Maggie is the English Bulldog that Kirt got for us. I felt myself overwhelmed with happiness. Mags! Ok then, he remembers Maggie. Next thing out of his little mouth is “B.”“B?” What? I remember thinking “I’m right here!! How about you say mama!” B is our Schnauzer. So again, I thought ok, that’s good he remembers B (Bentley) and Maggie. He then looked at me, and he smiled like a very tiny but precious smile and said very quietly but with more love than his little body could contain “Hi Mama!” I remember telling him Hi baby! I am so so so sorry that you have to be here right now.” He smiled at me and just said “Mom.” It was beautiful!
I want to thank everyone who was constantly thinking about and praying for Autry. Prayer is truly amazing! Autry is here because we had faith in God, in the Pediatric Intensivists who saw him daily and in prayer. If you know Autry, then I think that you would agree that he is a wonderful child with a heart of gold. Autry loves life and all the new things that life has to offer. He loves his little brother, and I think that he is the best big brother anyone could ever ask for.
You stare at your child, and you know they are in pain, but you can’t explain to them that they are going to get better. They just don’t understand all the needles, tubes, machines, and wires. They don’t understand why they feel so crappy, or why they can’t just get out of bed and leave. As much as they don’t understand why, you don’t either.
Today I understand that Asthma IS life threatening. There is no cure for Asthma, but if you treat it according to the plan your pulmonologist give you, then you can control and prevent attacks from happening. Asthma has several triggers. One of the first things we were asked to do, was to recognize Autry’s triggers. Autry’s triggers are weather and viruses.
We have an Action Plan, and we have already had to use it. I have become very aware of the symptoms and signs of an asthma attack. Several times after this first attack we had to make quick trips to the ER.
One occasion: Autry and I made a very quick trip to the Emergency Room when he began to have an asthma attack in the middle of the night. I went to bed suspicious of one happening, because the weather went from 60 degrees to 32 degrees and snowing within several hours. After two treatments, I decided to play it VERY SAFE, I dressed Autry in his snow suit and ran across the street to the hospital as fast as my legs could carry us! At 4 am the doctor didn’t mind that we were in the Emergency Room, and he immediately started a treatment for Autry. He then sent us home with a steroid (NO FUN 4 MOMS) and an antibiotic. We got home, sat on the couch, turned on Nick JR and Autry started beaming me in the head with his air chamber! It was truly a bittersweet moment for me. It was 6 in the morning and I was getting hit in the head, but I didn’t mind because I finally have the knowledge I need to be able to help prevent Autry’s Asthma from getting too out of control.
I want to encourage everyone to research Asthma. Familiarize yourself with the signs, symptoms, and triggers. Asthma is serious and it can be life threatening.
Don’t let your children lose a single precious breath.
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