Loosing my marbles

I haven’t blogged in a few days. Life has been so hectic. I have been making some pretty HUGE decisions that will impact my family greatly. One of the hardest personal struggles I fought myself over this week has landed me in a very uncomfortable position with my family. I made a decision to address a family issue that I never imagined would surface. When I made it “family public” I felt like I was supposed to wear a big red “B” on my shirt. (B. for Bonkers) It never matters what the issue - im basically made into a liar. The worst part is - nothing I have ever addressed has ever been a lie.  I want this issue to be history and I want it to never happen again. Seems like no matter how much I try to help - I get scorned and I am made to feel guilty. Life is so mean, and so are so many people.

I guess this is what keeps me going:

When you’re down to nothing, the faithful see the invisible, believe the incredible, and then receive the impossible.


I feel like I am a total outcast with some of my family, because I brought the most significant issue to light. I don’t think that this was the first nor will it be the last. Every single time I  bring things into the light I get taunted, teased, and told that I do it out of hate. I feel like its all a big ol’ joke to the people who are directly involved. If I didn’t care about the individual(s) involved I would never go as far as to “give a flying flip.” For the record, even if you aren’t my family and I know that you are doing something potentially harmful to your character & future I’m not going to stand by the wayside and watch you go down in flames. I cant do it.
As you can imagine, I feel like I am down to nothing. I feel like some of my family has turned on me. Really unfair because I’m not the main character nor did I ever want issues like this to have HAD to be addressed.
I know that God is Faithful. At the end of the day I know what I did was right. I hope other people realize that they did the right thing too - no matter how guilty they feel and no matter how many people are mad at them. It takes a lot of guts to stand up for someone and do the right thing to help them.

When involved parties take responsibility for their actions, look in the mirror and realize they are the only person(s) at fault… they may just realize that none of this would have happened if they were strong willed enough to stand up for themselves to others to begin with.

I don’t know how much longer it will take for people to realize that I am not a bad, mean, hateful person with cruel intentions. I have been blamed for being jealous, malicious, and horrible. If I was any of those things, I would have encouraged the misbehavior of others so that it would have been a detriment to the character of the parties involved. Instead, I want to stop it dead in its tracks and eliminate it from ever being a possibility again.

IF I DIDN’T CARE: I WOULD LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE! Believe me.

 ........this too shall pass.