Have you ever dreamed of gazing with wonder at the Northern Lights? I dream of getting the opportunity to watch this phenomenon dance before my eyes.
Eskimos once believed that the lights were the dancing spirits of children who died at birth. How beautiful is this theory?
Some people believed the lights to be a sign of Gods Anger. How could such a beautiful light show be theorized as Gods anger? Ok, so this is a fairly ancient theory and I understand how it could have been derived. I just have to go on the optimistic side here and say that the electric splendor of this show would have never made me question Gods mood. I’m very sure that the rarity of this magnificent display is God cheering from the Heavens.
Today, the Japanese believe that a child conceived under the dancing lights will be granted fortune and good luck. I love this theory too. It is no secret that I am a hopeless romantic. This theory makes my heart skip beats -
Last April, when Kirt and I hit rock bottom, I started a bucket list. It was a spiritual, financial, marital drought that just kept falling. When we finally hit the bottom of the well - the well was dry. There was nothing there to break our fall. We fell long and we fell hard. There were a few injuries to our egos but other than that we just suffered minor scrapes, bruises and set backs.
Ok, so it sounds like a terrible time to start such a list… but really I think it’s the most perfect time. I am a Dreamer. I dream big every single day. Literally there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t share a new dream, aspiration, target or desire with Kirt. So, for me Rock bottom meant the only direction I could go was UP… and UP was where I wanted to be. I started a note book to keep track of all of the things I want to complete in my lifetime. Just a few things on my list include:
I would like to teach my children to ride a bike.
I would like to run or walk in a marathon as long as I complete it.
I would like to start a blog & keep a steady flow of writings posted to it (WOO! HOO!! I am doing this)
I would like to travel to Alaska, and experience an Alaskan Adventure.
I would like to own a home! (I completed this one!! It was my first to complete)
I seriously want to encourage those of you who are down on your luck to go get a notebook and a pen and begin to write out a bucket list. There are plenty of good websites that will give you tons of information on how to get started. When life gets a little shaky look at your bucket list and remember that its ok to dream. Someday you will be able to accomplish the goals you have set forth for yourself. Crossing off goals that are on your list is so liberating.
I cant wait until I get to experience an Alaskan Adventure. I hope I can top it all off with a witness of the most astonishing light show in all of the earth.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Dance like a Gypsy.
Lets go Dance with the Gypsies Tonight -
I have always wondered how it would feel to be as free as a gypsy. You live and unconventional lifestyle, wandering, drifting and traveling to new destinations. You listen to your soul speak, and when its time to move onto another journey you pack what little possessions you need and leave. You never hesitate, there are no questions asked - you just have faith that the new path you have chosen will bring bigger adventures. The excitement of the move is uncontrollable. You are never nervous about picking up and leaving.
Me?
I would shake, tremble, quiver at the fear of trying something new. The fear of the unknown paralyzes your inner most thoughts and restricts me from ever being able to have spontaneity. Fear is the most paralyzing emotion you will experience.
The impulsive and unconstrained behavior a Gypsy possess is so enchanting. So tempting to release my inhibitions and learn to dance, flow, move like a tantalizing gypsy.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Loosing my marbles
I haven’t blogged in a few days. Life has been so hectic. I have been making some pretty HUGE decisions that will impact my family greatly. One of the hardest personal struggles I fought myself over this week has landed me in a very uncomfortable position with my family. I made a decision to address a family issue that I never imagined would surface. When I made it “family public” I felt like I was supposed to wear a big red “B” on my shirt. (B. for Bonkers) It never matters what the issue - im basically made into a liar. The worst part is - nothing I have ever addressed has ever been a lie. I want this issue to be history and I want it to never happen again. Seems like no matter how much I try to help - I get scorned and I am made to feel guilty. Life is so mean, and so are so many people.
I guess this is what keeps me going:
When you’re down to nothing, the faithful see the invisible, believe the incredible, and then receive the impossible.
I feel like I am a total outcast with some of my family, because I brought the most significant issue to light. I don’t think that this was the first nor will it be the last. Every single time I bring things into the light I get taunted, teased, and told that I do it out of hate. I feel like its all a big ol’ joke to the people who are directly involved. If I didn’t care about the individual(s) involved I would never go as far as to “give a flying flip.” For the record, even if you aren’t my family and I know that you are doing something potentially harmful to your character & future I’m not going to stand by the wayside and watch you go down in flames. I cant do it.
As you can imagine, I feel like I am down to nothing. I feel like some of my family has turned on me. Really unfair because I’m not the main character nor did I ever want issues like this to have HAD to be addressed.
I know that God is Faithful. At the end of the day I know what I did was right. I hope other people realize that they did the right thing too - no matter how guilty they feel and no matter how many people are mad at them. It takes a lot of guts to stand up for someone and do the right thing to help them.
When involved parties take responsibility for their actions, look in the mirror and realize they are the only person(s) at fault… they may just realize that none of this would have happened if they were strong willed enough to stand up for themselves to others to begin with.
I don’t know how much longer it will take for people to realize that I am not a bad, mean, hateful person with cruel intentions. I have been blamed for being jealous, malicious, and horrible. If I was any of those things, I would have encouraged the misbehavior of others so that it would have been a detriment to the character of the parties involved. Instead, I want to stop it dead in its tracks and eliminate it from ever being a possibility again.
IF I DIDN’T CARE: I WOULD LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE! Believe me.
........this too shall pass.
I guess this is what keeps me going:
When you’re down to nothing, the faithful see the invisible, believe the incredible, and then receive the impossible.
I feel like I am a total outcast with some of my family, because I brought the most significant issue to light. I don’t think that this was the first nor will it be the last. Every single time I bring things into the light I get taunted, teased, and told that I do it out of hate. I feel like its all a big ol’ joke to the people who are directly involved. If I didn’t care about the individual(s) involved I would never go as far as to “give a flying flip.” For the record, even if you aren’t my family and I know that you are doing something potentially harmful to your character & future I’m not going to stand by the wayside and watch you go down in flames. I cant do it.
As you can imagine, I feel like I am down to nothing. I feel like some of my family has turned on me. Really unfair because I’m not the main character nor did I ever want issues like this to have HAD to be addressed.
I know that God is Faithful. At the end of the day I know what I did was right. I hope other people realize that they did the right thing too - no matter how guilty they feel and no matter how many people are mad at them. It takes a lot of guts to stand up for someone and do the right thing to help them.
When involved parties take responsibility for their actions, look in the mirror and realize they are the only person(s) at fault… they may just realize that none of this would have happened if they were strong willed enough to stand up for themselves to others to begin with.
I don’t know how much longer it will take for people to realize that I am not a bad, mean, hateful person with cruel intentions. I have been blamed for being jealous, malicious, and horrible. If I was any of those things, I would have encouraged the misbehavior of others so that it would have been a detriment to the character of the parties involved. Instead, I want to stop it dead in its tracks and eliminate it from ever being a possibility again.
IF I DIDN’T CARE: I WOULD LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE! Believe me.
........this too shall pass.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Breaking NEWS!
This Just IN!
I have taken a huge leap forward with my volunteer commitments I assured you that I would be making for 2011.
Please join me I would love to have a team to do this with November 4-6:
I am starting a new Journey. I am going to participate in the Susan G. Komen 3day walk in Dallas. Every person will walk 60 miles in 3 days. 20 miles a day! God has really placed this commitment on my heart. For the last week I have tossed and turned about doing this. I am making the announcement that I will be involved in this new venture.
So how did I pick this to be one of my events? Well a friend of mine does it in Arizona and I was just amazed and moved. This girlfriend of mine, is from SWKS, and just had knee surgery! But she still walked 60 miles for Breast Cancer Awareness. She is so inspiring to me!
I chose this to be one of my 12 events because: I not only need to do this for me, and my health, but I need to do this for every grandmother, mother, sister, daughter, friend, aunt, niece or stranger who has ever been affected by Breast Cancer. Most of all I want to do this for my Grandmother (Mrs. Henton) and My Aunt-in-law Patricia Jessup (Nana).
Why did I toss and turn and what was the debate? Well, let me share.
1. I am at the heaviest weight I have ever been. My crutch - I know I am heavy BUT I was Prego for 2 years in a row. Time to lose that crutch. I can get in shape and walk 60 miles in 3 days….right??!!
2. My Kids have to stay all alone. Solution: Kirt leaves me all alone for an entire weekend sometimes longer so he can go sit on his butt and shoot Bambi. Answer to the “problem” Pay it forward to big daddy. He can handle it!! Right?!!
3. You have to raise a minimum of $2300 by the time the walk starts. Problem: Yikes!!! That’s a lot of money!!! :/ Solution(s): 1. Find 23 super duper rich friends to donate $100 2. Find 230 friends to donate $10 a piece 3. Fundraise like CRAZY! I can do this. Right?!!
4. I want to do this with a friend. PLEASE SOMEONE SIGN UP! Ok, but you know what God told me last night. I promise it was like he said “If someone can make this commitment, that will be wonderful - if no one can make this commitment like you have that’s ok too, you are not going to be alone. There are lost of people that do this walk but most importantly you have me.” This was kind of my AH!HA! Moment. Im friendly, I have been to camps, I know how to talk to people. I can do this. Right?!!!
So, come pay day I will be registering (Jan 30th) Because I think this is very important and I also think that Everyone deserves a lifetime.
If you would like to join me, I would love to have your company. We can build a team together. Don’t worry you don’t have to sign up together to be on the same “team.” Men and Women can both participate. You can find lots of information at www.the3day.org It costs $90 to register but if you register by Jan 31st it only costs $65 using the code SAVE25.
I just received an email about a Get Started Phone Conference that will take place on Jan 26th from 6-7:30. This is a meeting that will give you all of the ins-and-outs. You don’t have to have paid your registration. You can wait and get all of the information from the conference call to make your final decision. If you cant make it to that one, maybe you can RSVP for one of these:
Monday, January 31
5:00 p.m. - 6:30 p.m. PST
6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. MST
7:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. CST
8:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. EST
Wednesday, February 2
6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. PST
7:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. MST
8:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. CST
9:00 p.m. - 10:30 p.m. EST
Monday, February 7
4:00 p.m. - 5:30 p.m. PST
5:00 p.m. - 6:30 p.m. MST
6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. CST
7:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. EST
If you decide to listen into a Get-started phone conference please let me know! If you are moved to join me in this adventure please get a hold of me. Until then, let my training begin!!
I have taken a huge leap forward with my volunteer commitments I assured you that I would be making for 2011.
Please join me I would love to have a team to do this with November 4-6:
I am starting a new Journey. I am going to participate in the Susan G. Komen 3day walk in Dallas. Every person will walk 60 miles in 3 days. 20 miles a day! God has really placed this commitment on my heart. For the last week I have tossed and turned about doing this. I am making the announcement that I will be involved in this new venture.
So how did I pick this to be one of my events? Well a friend of mine does it in Arizona and I was just amazed and moved. This girlfriend of mine, is from SWKS, and just had knee surgery! But she still walked 60 miles for Breast Cancer Awareness. She is so inspiring to me!
I chose this to be one of my 12 events because: I not only need to do this for me, and my health, but I need to do this for every grandmother, mother, sister, daughter, friend, aunt, niece or stranger who has ever been affected by Breast Cancer. Most of all I want to do this for my Grandmother (Mrs. Henton) and My Aunt-in-law Patricia Jessup (Nana).
Why did I toss and turn and what was the debate? Well, let me share.
1. I am at the heaviest weight I have ever been. My crutch - I know I am heavy BUT I was Prego for 2 years in a row. Time to lose that crutch. I can get in shape and walk 60 miles in 3 days….right??!!
2. My Kids have to stay all alone. Solution: Kirt leaves me all alone for an entire weekend sometimes longer so he can go sit on his butt and shoot Bambi. Answer to the “problem” Pay it forward to big daddy. He can handle it!! Right?!!
3. You have to raise a minimum of $2300 by the time the walk starts. Problem: Yikes!!! That’s a lot of money!!! :/ Solution(s): 1. Find 23 super duper rich friends to donate $100 2. Find 230 friends to donate $10 a piece 3. Fundraise like CRAZY! I can do this. Right?!!
4. I want to do this with a friend. PLEASE SOMEONE SIGN UP! Ok, but you know what God told me last night. I promise it was like he said “If someone can make this commitment, that will be wonderful - if no one can make this commitment like you have that’s ok too, you are not going to be alone. There are lost of people that do this walk but most importantly you have me.” This was kind of my AH!HA! Moment. Im friendly, I have been to camps, I know how to talk to people. I can do this. Right?!!!
So, come pay day I will be registering (Jan 30th) Because I think this is very important and I also think that Everyone deserves a lifetime.
If you would like to join me, I would love to have your company. We can build a team together. Don’t worry you don’t have to sign up together to be on the same “team.” Men and Women can both participate. You can find lots of information at www.the3day.org It costs $90 to register but if you register by Jan 31st it only costs $65 using the code SAVE25.
I just received an email about a Get Started Phone Conference that will take place on Jan 26th from 6-7:30. This is a meeting that will give you all of the ins-and-outs. You don’t have to have paid your registration. You can wait and get all of the information from the conference call to make your final decision. If you cant make it to that one, maybe you can RSVP for one of these:
Monday, January 31
5:00 p.m. - 6:30 p.m. PST
6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. MST
7:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. CST
8:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. EST
Wednesday, February 2
6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. PST
7:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. MST
8:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. CST
9:00 p.m. - 10:30 p.m. EST
Monday, February 7
4:00 p.m. - 5:30 p.m. PST
5:00 p.m. - 6:30 p.m. MST
6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. CST
7:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. EST
If you decide to listen into a Get-started phone conference please let me know! If you are moved to join me in this adventure please get a hold of me. Until then, let my training begin!!
Monday, January 17, 2011
A Thousand Paper Cranes
I NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!!
I was just 10 years old, when I became familiar with the word cancer. I attended Grade School at Sunnyside Elementary in Dodge City, KS. A little boy I had grown up with was diagnosed with a brain tumor. As if that wasn’t hard enough to understand, a little girl was diagnosed with Leukemia. I was very good friends with both children. It was so unbelievable that in one school we had 2 cancer patients. It was even more unbelievable that we had to begin the discussions of Cancer at such a young age.
Curtis was the little boy with a brain tumor. I believe he still resides in Dodge City today. I was friends with him, but we weren’t as close as Jenny and I. I think that’s mainly because he has no interest in Barbie Dolls and “girl things.” Jenny & my mother became very close. My mother drew her blood on a near daily basis. Because my mother and Jenny’s relationship grew our families became very close.
At school, our teachers had us read a book called “A Thousand Paper Cranes.” It is a book about a little girl who has leukemia. According to Japanese legend, if she completes 1000 paper cranes she can have a wish. Her wish will be to live, but she is too weak to fold all of the paper cranes. If you haven’t read this book you really should. It doesn’t take very long to get through - and its very inspirational.
March 4, 1996 at the all too young age of 9 years old. I lost a very good friend. I don’t think I will ever forget that date. It was a Monday, I was taking a bath, and my mom came into the bathroom sobbing. She told me to hurry out and to quickly get dressed. I did, I think I already had a suspicion but I wasn’t sure. My mom told me before I left for school that Jenny had passes away in the night. I was so upset. I still don’t understand.
I was reading a magazine today and I came across an organization called “Be the match.” Be the Match is a National Marrow Donor Program. Shaq is a spokesperson for this organization. His message “Do something Big, Bigger then life.” His encouragement: Register to be a donor. It is thought that a person only has a 1 in 100,000 people chance to be matched to a donor if no one in their family matches. I am considering ordering the free donor match kit and sending it back. I have a lot of questions - most importantly “If I donate to someone in need, and one of my children or other family members need a my marrow and I am also a match for them can I donate more than once?’ I think I can, and if I can I am definitely going to send my DNA into the possible donor pool. it’s a long shot - but if I was a match it would be amazing to be able to give someone a second chance at life. I donate blood whenever possible, but I would like to commit myself to helping save a life by donating my marrow. I will definitely keep you updated on the decision that I could make in the future.
In the mean time, you should visit
Let me know ASAP if you would like to join me in the 1 mile fun run/walk. We can do it together!!
www.marrow.org it is a very interesting website. You don’t have to make any commitments so take your time & browse around a little bit.
Oh, Autry.
Recently I applied for my dream job and I didn't get it. I was totally bummed. I was so excited to get to go to work for a volunteer based organization that I have been actively involved with since I was 16. This was one of those deals that turned into a personal battle that I couldn't shake off. I was so mad at myself for "not being good enough." The lady told me that I was the second choice. I kept telling myself "well there you have it, of you aren't first, you are last." Great. I'm last. I'm not good enough. So, I went to Lord and I asked why. For three days I tried to figure out where it was that I bombed this opportunity. The it happened. 4 am and Autry sounds like a fog horn .... I put my wind pants on and a sweatshirt to cover my elmo jammies (stop laughing) ran into Autrys room, grabbed a diaper, his house slippers, and a blanket and ran out the door. We slid into ER. Seriously, it was really icy. After and hour of trying to control his asthma the doctor requested that we stay the rest of the morning. This was my Ahh-ha moment. The one where you feel like someone just gave you a slap on the forehead... I guess I know that I was good enough to land that job, but no one can take care of my sons needs the way that I can.
So for those of you who may not know, here is the back story to this Asthma business:
On Black Friday 2009, my beautiful baby boy had a life threatening asthma attack.
I can remember the day clearly:
Autry is on a stretcher in the airplane. I am between to EMT’s on the Life Watch team. I am also nine months pregnant, and I am scared to death of what my happen next. Autry is so scared, he is crying, his strider is awful, and his chest retractions are so deep that the cave in his chest looks like you could fit a softball in it. With two IV boards strapped to his arm he reaches up for me and he says “Mama.” It’s the last word he can squeeze out before he begins to go downhill. The female EMT grabs my leg and says “Mom.” That’s all she has to say to me and I immediately know what’s about to take place. Morphine first, and then with amazing precision, Autry will need to be intubated.
Upon Arrival to Wesley Medical Center in Wichita Kansas, I just remember being so scared that I would never be able to see Autry again. My first question was is he going to be ok? The doctor held my hand and she said “we are going to do everything we can to help him.“ I remember feeling my heart drop into my stomach. I remember when Autry was laying lifeless in that steel framed crib in the PICU, all I kept telling God was that I just wanted one more day with him. I just needed another day to hold on to my baby! Several doctors told my parents that the outcome of this situation was still very shady and that it was tough to say if Autry would make it. I kept asking everyone if Autry was going to be ok, and the best answer that I could get from anyone was that he was in stable but critical condition.
Once Autry was checked into PICU and in stable condition, the Dr. told me that Autry would likely be on the tubes for 3-5 days. It would be at least 3 days before I could hold my baby! I wouldn’t be able to hear his voice, see his beautiful smile, or make him laugh! She gave me a huge hug and she said that I needed to be strong. That would prove to be a real challenge for me over the next 3 days. Within 72 hours we would find out that Autry has Asthma, which was triggered by the Para Influenza virus. We would also learn that while on the breathing tube, Autry had developed Pneumonia and a Staph infection in his lungs.
A machine was breathing for my baby, and I am telling you that is one of the scariest things you will ever witness. These moments went on for us for 3 days. I think during those 72 critical hours, I slept for 6.. Autry began to really swell, and he was looking as if he was in a tremendous amount of pain. Respiratory Therapist after Respiratory Therapist would visit us every hour on the hour to check the ventilator or to give Autry a breathing treatment of some sort. The RT would tell us that we really needed to hope for a leak around his air tube so that we could get Autry off his breathing tube. Every hour that went by, I would look at the ventilator – and I would watch for the 0% leak to move – It never happened. On the morning of day 3 I woke up to an RT who was “playing” with the machine. She said “playing” to an RT is actually a good term, and she was just trying to fix the machines numbers to Autry’s needs. While she was “playing” our Pediatric Intenseivist came in to tell me that we wouldn’t be taking Autryeak around his air tube so that we could get Autry off his breathing tube. Every hour that went by, I would look at the ventilator – and I would watch for the 0% leak to move – It never happened. On the morning of day 3 I woke up to an RT who was “playing” with the machine. She said “playing” to an RT is actually a good term, and she was just trying to fix the machines numbers to Autry’s needs. While she was “playing” our Pediatric Intenseivist came in to tell me that we wouldn’t be taking Autry off his breathing tube, however we would trade the tube out for a smaller one. “GOD NO!” is all I could think. I had spent the last 3 days praying and praying, prayer chains were started all over the place. I knew that prayers had been pouring in, and still they weren’t going to be answered! “Please God,” I just want to hold my baby! I just want to hear him say “Hi Mama.” like he told me every single morning. I silently said one last prayer, “Lord, please hear my prayer, and please let me hold my baby.”
Later that morning the RT told the Dr. that she thought maybe he should listen to Autry breath without the machine. So, she turned down the machine for a few seconds. It was the scariest few seconds I have ever endured. Turning down the machine means taking the breath away from Autry. I couldn't hear a thing, I just stood there holding my breath and wondering what this would do to my baby. Then I heard “I hear a leak.” That’s right, I heard the doctor say “I hear a leak.” All I can remember is feeling like I was going to fall right out of my chair – immediately I wondered "did I hear him correctly?" The doctor looked at me and said “Mom, I hear a leak, so we are going to attempt to take him off his breathing tube, however 90% of the time, when we remove a tube too early, we must re-intubate and that comes with greater risk because the airways are already so swollen.”
I remember thinking I can’t watch! The Doctors didn’t want to have anyone in the way just in case they would have to immediately re-intubate Autry. I stood by the nurse’s station and watched and prayed, and prayed and prayed. Moments later they told me that everything was ok, and that I could see Autry. I remember rushing to his side, I wanted to hear him. I wanted to talk to him. My mom was there with me, and I remember watching her cry and rub his hair. She said “Autry, Nana is here. It’s Nana. I love you so much. Be strong for Nana.”
The Nurses handed me my son, and I just over flowed with emotion. I remember tears were just rolling down my face and onto Autry. He wasn’t awake, but I knew he could feel me, and hear me, and I knew he still loved me. He didn’t wake for quite a while after the breathing tube was taken out. Once he woke, He said “Mags.” MAGS! Really? Your first word to Mama is going to me Mags? Maggie is the English Bulldog that Kirt got for us. I felt myself overwhelmed with happiness. Mags! Ok then, he remembers Maggie. Next thing out of his little mouth is “B.”“B?” What? I remember thinking “I’m right here!! How about you say mama!” B is our Schnauzer. So again, I thought ok, that’s good he remembers B (Bentley) and Maggie. He then looked at me, and he smiled like a very tiny but precious smile and said very quietly but with more love than his little body could contain “Hi Mama!” I remember telling him Hi baby! I am so so so sorry that you have to be here right now.” He smiled at me and just said “Mom.” It was beautiful!
I want to thank everyone who was constantly thinking about and praying for Autry. Prayer is truly amazing! Autry is here because we had faith in God, in the Pediatric Intensivists who saw him daily and in prayer. If you know Autry, then I think that you would agree that he is a wonderful child with a heart of gold. Autry loves life and all the new things that life has to offer. He loves his little brother, and I think that he is the best big brother anyone could ever ask for.
You stare at your child, and you know they are in pain, but you can’t explain to them that they are going to get better. They just don’t understand all the needles, tubes, machines, and wires. They don’t understand why they feel so crappy, or why they can’t just get out of bed and leave. As much as they don’t understand why, you don’t either.
Today I understand that Asthma IS life threatening. There is no cure for Asthma, but if you treat it according to the plan your pulmonologist give you, then you can control and prevent attacks from happening. Asthma has several triggers. One of the first things we were asked to do, was to recognize Autry’s triggers. Autry’s triggers are weather and viruses.
We have an Action Plan, and we have already had to use it. I have become very aware of the symptoms and signs of an asthma attack. Several times after this first attack we had to make quick trips to the ER.
One occasion: Autry and I made a very quick trip to the Emergency Room when he began to have an asthma attack in the middle of the night. I went to bed suspicious of one happening, because the weather went from 60 degrees to 32 degrees and snowing within several hours. After two treatments, I decided to play it VERY SAFE, I dressed Autry in his snow suit and ran across the street to the hospital as fast as my legs could carry us! At 4 am the doctor didn’t mind that we were in the Emergency Room, and he immediately started a treatment for Autry. He then sent us home with a steroid (NO FUN 4 MOMS) and an antibiotic. We got home, sat on the couch, turned on Nick JR and Autry started beaming me in the head with his air chamber! It was truly a bittersweet moment for me. It was 6 in the morning and I was getting hit in the head, but I didn’t mind because I finally have the knowledge I need to be able to help prevent Autry’s Asthma from getting too out of control.
I want to encourage everyone to research Asthma. Familiarize yourself with the signs, symptoms, and triggers. Asthma is serious and it can be life threatening.
Don’t let your children lose a single precious breath.
So for those of you who may not know, here is the back story to this Asthma business:
On Black Friday 2009, my beautiful baby boy had a life threatening asthma attack.
I can remember the day clearly:
Autry is on a stretcher in the airplane. I am between to EMT’s on the Life Watch team. I am also nine months pregnant, and I am scared to death of what my happen next. Autry is so scared, he is crying, his strider is awful, and his chest retractions are so deep that the cave in his chest looks like you could fit a softball in it. With two IV boards strapped to his arm he reaches up for me and he says “Mama.” It’s the last word he can squeeze out before he begins to go downhill. The female EMT grabs my leg and says “Mom.” That’s all she has to say to me and I immediately know what’s about to take place. Morphine first, and then with amazing precision, Autry will need to be intubated.
Upon Arrival to Wesley Medical Center in Wichita Kansas, I just remember being so scared that I would never be able to see Autry again. My first question was is he going to be ok? The doctor held my hand and she said “we are going to do everything we can to help him.“ I remember feeling my heart drop into my stomach. I remember when Autry was laying lifeless in that steel framed crib in the PICU, all I kept telling God was that I just wanted one more day with him. I just needed another day to hold on to my baby! Several doctors told my parents that the outcome of this situation was still very shady and that it was tough to say if Autry would make it. I kept asking everyone if Autry was going to be ok, and the best answer that I could get from anyone was that he was in stable but critical condition.
Once Autry was checked into PICU and in stable condition, the Dr. told me that Autry would likely be on the tubes for 3-5 days. It would be at least 3 days before I could hold my baby! I wouldn’t be able to hear his voice, see his beautiful smile, or make him laugh! She gave me a huge hug and she said that I needed to be strong. That would prove to be a real challenge for me over the next 3 days. Within 72 hours we would find out that Autry has Asthma, which was triggered by the Para Influenza virus. We would also learn that while on the breathing tube, Autry had developed Pneumonia and a Staph infection in his lungs.
A machine was breathing for my baby, and I am telling you that is one of the scariest things you will ever witness. These moments went on for us for 3 days. I think during those 72 critical hours, I slept for 6.. Autry began to really swell, and he was looking as if he was in a tremendous amount of pain. Respiratory Therapist after Respiratory Therapist would visit us every hour on the hour to check the ventilator or to give Autry a breathing treatment of some sort. The RT would tell us that we really needed to hope for a leak around his air tube so that we could get Autry off his breathing tube. Every hour that went by, I would look at the ventilator – and I would watch for the 0% leak to move – It never happened. On the morning of day 3 I woke up to an RT who was “playing” with the machine. She said “playing” to an RT is actually a good term, and she was just trying to fix the machines numbers to Autry’s needs. While she was “playing” our Pediatric Intenseivist came in to tell me that we wouldn’t be taking Autryeak around his air tube so that we could get Autry off his breathing tube. Every hour that went by, I would look at the ventilator – and I would watch for the 0% leak to move – It never happened. On the morning of day 3 I woke up to an RT who was “playing” with the machine. She said “playing” to an RT is actually a good term, and she was just trying to fix the machines numbers to Autry’s needs. While she was “playing” our Pediatric Intenseivist came in to tell me that we wouldn’t be taking Autry off his breathing tube, however we would trade the tube out for a smaller one. “GOD NO!” is all I could think. I had spent the last 3 days praying and praying, prayer chains were started all over the place. I knew that prayers had been pouring in, and still they weren’t going to be answered! “Please God,” I just want to hold my baby! I just want to hear him say “Hi Mama.” like he told me every single morning. I silently said one last prayer, “Lord, please hear my prayer, and please let me hold my baby.”
Later that morning the RT told the Dr. that she thought maybe he should listen to Autry breath without the machine. So, she turned down the machine for a few seconds. It was the scariest few seconds I have ever endured. Turning down the machine means taking the breath away from Autry. I couldn't hear a thing, I just stood there holding my breath and wondering what this would do to my baby. Then I heard “I hear a leak.” That’s right, I heard the doctor say “I hear a leak.” All I can remember is feeling like I was going to fall right out of my chair – immediately I wondered "did I hear him correctly?" The doctor looked at me and said “Mom, I hear a leak, so we are going to attempt to take him off his breathing tube, however 90% of the time, when we remove a tube too early, we must re-intubate and that comes with greater risk because the airways are already so swollen.”
I remember thinking I can’t watch! The Doctors didn’t want to have anyone in the way just in case they would have to immediately re-intubate Autry. I stood by the nurse’s station and watched and prayed, and prayed and prayed. Moments later they told me that everything was ok, and that I could see Autry. I remember rushing to his side, I wanted to hear him. I wanted to talk to him. My mom was there with me, and I remember watching her cry and rub his hair. She said “Autry, Nana is here. It’s Nana. I love you so much. Be strong for Nana.”
The Nurses handed me my son, and I just over flowed with emotion. I remember tears were just rolling down my face and onto Autry. He wasn’t awake, but I knew he could feel me, and hear me, and I knew he still loved me. He didn’t wake for quite a while after the breathing tube was taken out. Once he woke, He said “Mags.” MAGS! Really? Your first word to Mama is going to me Mags? Maggie is the English Bulldog that Kirt got for us. I felt myself overwhelmed with happiness. Mags! Ok then, he remembers Maggie. Next thing out of his little mouth is “B.”“B?” What? I remember thinking “I’m right here!! How about you say mama!” B is our Schnauzer. So again, I thought ok, that’s good he remembers B (Bentley) and Maggie. He then looked at me, and he smiled like a very tiny but precious smile and said very quietly but with more love than his little body could contain “Hi Mama!” I remember telling him Hi baby! I am so so so sorry that you have to be here right now.” He smiled at me and just said “Mom.” It was beautiful!
I want to thank everyone who was constantly thinking about and praying for Autry. Prayer is truly amazing! Autry is here because we had faith in God, in the Pediatric Intensivists who saw him daily and in prayer. If you know Autry, then I think that you would agree that he is a wonderful child with a heart of gold. Autry loves life and all the new things that life has to offer. He loves his little brother, and I think that he is the best big brother anyone could ever ask for.
You stare at your child, and you know they are in pain, but you can’t explain to them that they are going to get better. They just don’t understand all the needles, tubes, machines, and wires. They don’t understand why they feel so crappy, or why they can’t just get out of bed and leave. As much as they don’t understand why, you don’t either.
Today I understand that Asthma IS life threatening. There is no cure for Asthma, but if you treat it according to the plan your pulmonologist give you, then you can control and prevent attacks from happening. Asthma has several triggers. One of the first things we were asked to do, was to recognize Autry’s triggers. Autry’s triggers are weather and viruses.
We have an Action Plan, and we have already had to use it. I have become very aware of the symptoms and signs of an asthma attack. Several times after this first attack we had to make quick trips to the ER.
One occasion: Autry and I made a very quick trip to the Emergency Room when he began to have an asthma attack in the middle of the night. I went to bed suspicious of one happening, because the weather went from 60 degrees to 32 degrees and snowing within several hours. After two treatments, I decided to play it VERY SAFE, I dressed Autry in his snow suit and ran across the street to the hospital as fast as my legs could carry us! At 4 am the doctor didn’t mind that we were in the Emergency Room, and he immediately started a treatment for Autry. He then sent us home with a steroid (NO FUN 4 MOMS) and an antibiotic. We got home, sat on the couch, turned on Nick JR and Autry started beaming me in the head with his air chamber! It was truly a bittersweet moment for me. It was 6 in the morning and I was getting hit in the head, but I didn’t mind because I finally have the knowledge I need to be able to help prevent Autry’s Asthma from getting too out of control.
I want to encourage everyone to research Asthma. Familiarize yourself with the signs, symptoms, and triggers. Asthma is serious and it can be life threatening.
Don’t let your children lose a single precious breath.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Animal Lover
I miss Maggie more and more everyday. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wonder if things would have been different had I stayed home the night she passed. I feel like I lost my daughter, I know I lost my best friend. It is so hard to not think about her all of the time. I hope she understood how much I loved her and that I would have done anything in the world to have been able to have shared another day with her.
I think the best thing I can do for her now, is to honor her memory by being an involved animal rights activist. Animals deserve loving families & forever homes. We gave that to Maggie and I pray that I can make a difference in the lives of other animals -
So, but no it is no secret that I adore animals. I am a huge supporter of no Kill Animal Shelters. I am also a huge supporter of getting your animal fixed. Why do I think you should get your animal fixed? Well, maybe because I have a small crush on Bob Hope. More because I think that the overpopulation of unwanted animals is getting seriously out of control. I follow a few of my favorite animal shelters on face book. All of the shelters are too full. They cant take in anymore, and they cant adopt out what they have. My heart is so tender and I feel like every animal deserves a forever home.
This weekend I fostered two Border Aussie female pups who are 8 weeks old. We still have one, and we have melted over her. She is so amazing, she has truly blessed our home. Grammy Sue & Dillon adopted Daisy Belles sister and they named her Bella. I thanked Dillon tonight on face book chat and told him that it meant a lot to me that they opened their hearts to give Bella a forever home. Dillon, being the humble person he is said “No problem its just a home.” But, to me its not just any home. I know that Bella will be loved unconditionally. She will be fed, bathed, walked, trained, watered, s payed, and LOVED forever. That’s not just a home to me, it’s a home filled with love.
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord (Psalm 150:6).
Proverbs 27:23: "Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds."
I love that verse. Be sure you know the condition of your animals, and pay close attention to all of them - God wants us to take care of animals just like we would take care of our family or friends, neighbors or strangers. If a person is homeless we help them - why wouldn’t we do the same for an animal?
I am considering adopting a Guinea Pig for Easter. We will have to see exactly how adventurous I get!!!
(PS. I promise more pics soon!!) Adoption. The first animal that Kirt and I ever adopted from an actual shelter is our Cat. Peanut Buster. Not Butter. Buster. Autry named him Peanut, I wanted to name him Buster. Together, we came up with Peanut Buster and if you don’t say it right Autry wont hesitate to correct you!! I know I have talked about him in a previous post, but I cant stop talking about him. When I went to the Humane Society of Kansas in Wichita (Hillside and K-96) we went with the intentions of strictly looking. We met PB and it was over from there. The volunteer explained to me that PB had been left at his residence when his family moved away. He had already been fixed and was de-clawed. In my mind I felt like obviously the previous owners loved him to have had paid for him to be fixed and de-clawed! My heart was so broken. This cat had been loved and cared for by a family and then they just left him, dumped, defenseless and alone. I couldn’t possibly leave him at the shelter so we took him into our care. The paper work had been filed and we headed West. When we got home Kirt immediately fell in love. We have been his people ever since!!
When you adopt an animal from a shelter its amazing how quickly they realize you gave them a second (possibly third, fourth ect.) chance at life. PB is so forever grateful. He thanks us all the time.
If you have an animal or too many animals and you need to get rid of one or some …. Why would you just dump them on the side of the road? Why would you just leave them to die? There are so many places that will take your pets. Some places charge, some don’t. It’s absolutely cruel and senseless to dump an animal. It is also cruel and unnecessary to abuse an animal, starve an animal, mistreat an animal in any way. If you couldn’t take care of the animal why did you get it? If you cant take care of multiple animals especially helpless little animal babies - Why didn’t you just get your pet fixed?
I want to leave tonight’s blog on this note:
I think the best thing I can do for her now, is to honor her memory by being an involved animal rights activist. Animals deserve loving families & forever homes. We gave that to Maggie and I pray that I can make a difference in the lives of other animals -
So, but no it is no secret that I adore animals. I am a huge supporter of no Kill Animal Shelters. I am also a huge supporter of getting your animal fixed. Why do I think you should get your animal fixed? Well, maybe because I have a small crush on Bob Hope. More because I think that the overpopulation of unwanted animals is getting seriously out of control. I follow a few of my favorite animal shelters on face book. All of the shelters are too full. They cant take in anymore, and they cant adopt out what they have. My heart is so tender and I feel like every animal deserves a forever home.
This weekend I fostered two Border Aussie female pups who are 8 weeks old. We still have one, and we have melted over her. She is so amazing, she has truly blessed our home. Grammy Sue & Dillon adopted Daisy Belles sister and they named her Bella. I thanked Dillon tonight on face book chat and told him that it meant a lot to me that they opened their hearts to give Bella a forever home. Dillon, being the humble person he is said “No problem its just a home.” But, to me its not just any home. I know that Bella will be loved unconditionally. She will be fed, bathed, walked, trained, watered, s payed, and LOVED forever. That’s not just a home to me, it’s a home filled with love.
This is Dayzee Belle our love!
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord (Psalm 150:6).
Proverbs 27:23: "Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds."
I love that verse. Be sure you know the condition of your animals, and pay close attention to all of them - God wants us to take care of animals just like we would take care of our family or friends, neighbors or strangers. If a person is homeless we help them - why wouldn’t we do the same for an animal?
I am considering adopting a Guinea Pig for Easter. We will have to see exactly how adventurous I get!!!
(PS. I promise more pics soon!!) Adoption. The first animal that Kirt and I ever adopted from an actual shelter is our Cat. Peanut Buster. Not Butter. Buster. Autry named him Peanut, I wanted to name him Buster. Together, we came up with Peanut Buster and if you don’t say it right Autry wont hesitate to correct you!! I know I have talked about him in a previous post, but I cant stop talking about him. When I went to the Humane Society of Kansas in Wichita (Hillside and K-96) we went with the intentions of strictly looking. We met PB and it was over from there. The volunteer explained to me that PB had been left at his residence when his family moved away. He had already been fixed and was de-clawed. In my mind I felt like obviously the previous owners loved him to have had paid for him to be fixed and de-clawed! My heart was so broken. This cat had been loved and cared for by a family and then they just left him, dumped, defenseless and alone. I couldn’t possibly leave him at the shelter so we took him into our care. The paper work had been filed and we headed West. When we got home Kirt immediately fell in love. We have been his people ever since!!
When you adopt an animal from a shelter its amazing how quickly they realize you gave them a second (possibly third, fourth ect.) chance at life. PB is so forever grateful. He thanks us all the time.
If you have an animal or too many animals and you need to get rid of one or some …. Why would you just dump them on the side of the road? Why would you just leave them to die? There are so many places that will take your pets. Some places charge, some don’t. It’s absolutely cruel and senseless to dump an animal. It is also cruel and unnecessary to abuse an animal, starve an animal, mistreat an animal in any way. If you couldn’t take care of the animal why did you get it? If you cant take care of multiple animals especially helpless little animal babies - Why didn’t you just get your pet fixed?
I want to leave tonight’s blog on this note:
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The Heavy Cross
This has summed up 2011 for me. Some days, I feel like my feet are stuck in the ground, I push forward with the little bit of energy I have just so I can make it to 5 o'clock. There are times I feel like I'm doing alright if I cant press forward but at least I am still standing!
Some days I feel as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I feel like the burdens I carry are not always mine but also others. I think that in this vulnerable moment it is very important to realize that nothing could have been as exhausting as carrying your own crucifix after being physically beaten & emotionally broken.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Random. Just random...
Yesterday, I reminded everyone that slowing down is a great life lesson. Today we took things very slowly. The boys and I were slow to rise, slow to get out of our jammies, and slow to do our chores. I slow cooked a Pork Shoulder! And also slow cooked a Pear Crisp for dessert. Its kind of fun to just bum around. Its nice to not have to hurry my kids around so that we can get somewhere in time -
Some of you may not know this, but I went to Albuquerque to what was then known as "TVI" and took culinary courses for a year. Very fun! I love to cook. I have a passion for cooking. Im thinking about posting some recipes. I need to really get the hang of this blogging thing first! :) Also, I am excited to cook a meal for families in the Ronald McDonald house!! I am still waiting for dates and a complete confirmation. If you would be interested in helping with this please let me know.
A few weeks ago I adopted a 3 year old Siamese Cat from the Kansas Humane Society in Wichita. First off that is the most fantastic place in the whole state. Second of all I cant wait to do some volunteer work there - but most importantly I adopted another best friend. When you adopt an animal from a shelter it is amazing how unconditional their love for you is. It is truly like they have an appreciation for you - because you rescued them from animal jail and gave them another chance. Peanut Buster, doesn't leave my sight. He is a declawed lover who is too brave for his own good. He sits on the back of my couch waiting for my schnauzer to walk by so he can pounce on him. They play cat and mouse (cat and weenie schnauzer) all the time. At night, PB comes to cuddle with me and keeps me company. If I am up too late blogging - he comes and sits on my hands as I type. He is such and awesome cat! If you are ever in the Wichita area you need to go check out the Kansas Humane Society. Go north on Hillside allllll the way to K96. Its literally right before you get onto K96. Also, check out their website: http://kshumane.org/ FYI: Adult cats have a waived adoption fee!!
February is almost here. I really need January to slow down. February is one of the hardest months for us to get thru. 4 Feb's ago, Kirt lost his daddy. On the flip side! I love Valentines Day. I know that there are alot of Valentines Day HATERS! But my mom always has and always will make that day extra special for me. I hope I can make VDay special for my children too. I want to teach my children how to express love in lots of ways and even though most of VDay has been turned into a materialistic holiday - you can teach children, family, spouses how to truly give out of love and compassion to those people in your life who mean the most. I promise you a list of low cost - extrememly thoughtful ways to express your love to others!
A girl who I went to HS with in Meade is currently in Afghanistan. She has two children, and a husband. It is hard to even begin to think about how she may feel. I personally cant imagine. If you are interested in sending her a care package or adding to the care package that I will be sending - PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I would love to get some things sent by the end of the month. She said that it is very cold there right now because its winter there... and it has been hard for them to keep spirits up. I really feel like she is fighting for our country and the very least I can do is send her a care package!!
Ok, so if this wasnt the most random blog EVER - Thanks for reading! Gotta go watch Parenthood!!
Some of you may not know this, but I went to Albuquerque to what was then known as "TVI" and took culinary courses for a year. Very fun! I love to cook. I have a passion for cooking. Im thinking about posting some recipes. I need to really get the hang of this blogging thing first! :) Also, I am excited to cook a meal for families in the Ronald McDonald house!! I am still waiting for dates and a complete confirmation. If you would be interested in helping with this please let me know.
A few weeks ago I adopted a 3 year old Siamese Cat from the Kansas Humane Society in Wichita. First off that is the most fantastic place in the whole state. Second of all I cant wait to do some volunteer work there - but most importantly I adopted another best friend. When you adopt an animal from a shelter it is amazing how unconditional their love for you is. It is truly like they have an appreciation for you - because you rescued them from animal jail and gave them another chance. Peanut Buster, doesn't leave my sight. He is a declawed lover who is too brave for his own good. He sits on the back of my couch waiting for my schnauzer to walk by so he can pounce on him. They play cat and mouse (cat and weenie schnauzer) all the time. At night, PB comes to cuddle with me and keeps me company. If I am up too late blogging - he comes and sits on my hands as I type. He is such and awesome cat! If you are ever in the Wichita area you need to go check out the Kansas Humane Society. Go north on Hillside allllll the way to K96. Its literally right before you get onto K96. Also, check out their website: http://kshumane.org/ FYI: Adult cats have a waived adoption fee!!
February is almost here. I really need January to slow down. February is one of the hardest months for us to get thru. 4 Feb's ago, Kirt lost his daddy. On the flip side! I love Valentines Day. I know that there are alot of Valentines Day HATERS! But my mom always has and always will make that day extra special for me. I hope I can make VDay special for my children too. I want to teach my children how to express love in lots of ways and even though most of VDay has been turned into a materialistic holiday - you can teach children, family, spouses how to truly give out of love and compassion to those people in your life who mean the most. I promise you a list of low cost - extrememly thoughtful ways to express your love to others!
A girl who I went to HS with in Meade is currently in Afghanistan. She has two children, and a husband. It is hard to even begin to think about how she may feel. I personally cant imagine. If you are interested in sending her a care package or adding to the care package that I will be sending - PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I would love to get some things sent by the end of the month. She said that it is very cold there right now because its winter there... and it has been hard for them to keep spirits up. I really feel like she is fighting for our country and the very least I can do is send her a care package!!
Ok, so if this wasnt the most random blog EVER - Thanks for reading! Gotta go watch Parenthood!!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Slow Down.
Life is such a journey. Today, I drove a good friend to Alva so that he could go to school tomorrow. Before leaving the house I was in a bitter mood. It was just the weather. I really don’t feel comfortable with the weather like this and I couldn’t understand why in the world of all days it had to be so nasty today! We loaded up and drove to Alva never going over 40... What a long boring drive that was.
Lesson: You will still get where you need to go whether you are going 40 mph or 100 mph. You might as well slow down, be careful and take in your surroundings. Going to fast you might miss a moment that you will never get back. The roads were very dangerous, ice packed, literally treacherous - but I had my father guiding the truck down the road. I respected the road, and it paid me the same respects. I never pushed my luck, never went faster then God wanted me to go, and I paid very close attention to the world around me. Autry sang me songs, Brody slept. I found out that Carlos is very afraid of bugs & that he is very passionate about giving back to others just like I am. Today, after nearly 7 hours on the road Im glad that I took the time to slow down and really enjoy what life is showing us.
"There is more to life than incresing its speed." ~Ghandi
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Sunday, January 9, 2011
Airport
So, the weather is awful - but I still had to go to Wichita and do a blood run tonight and I also picked up a very good friend from the airport. Through delays I met several different people. Do you guys know that an airport will make you cry more than a funeral?! Seriously!! Today several mothers were sending their kids to college. SAD! made me want to go to college with my babies!
A grandmother was waiting on her grand-daughter to arrive (her flight had came in 6 hours late) so that they could say good-bye to her dying grand-father. While waiting gramma got a phone call that said she was really going to be too late. I just sat their and cried with the lady. Her grand-daughter arrived and I'm sure she thought I was a nut - they ran to baggage claim and I almost offered to just pick up her luggage and deliver it so that they weren't too late to say goodbye. Baggage got their just in time!!
A wife said goodbye to her husband, a pregnant lady awaited the arrival of her husband and then lept (i know very dangerous) into her husbands arms. A set of grandparents picked up their grand kids! If I didn't know better - I would sware I was pregnant! I was so emotional! If you ever feel like you could use a good cry - seriously go sit at the airport and people watch. Its creepy but it works.
I am exhausted! So tonight, I leave you with thoughts about airports. enjoy.
A grandmother was waiting on her grand-daughter to arrive (her flight had came in 6 hours late) so that they could say good-bye to her dying grand-father. While waiting gramma got a phone call that said she was really going to be too late. I just sat their and cried with the lady. Her grand-daughter arrived and I'm sure she thought I was a nut - they ran to baggage claim and I almost offered to just pick up her luggage and deliver it so that they weren't too late to say goodbye. Baggage got their just in time!!
A wife said goodbye to her husband, a pregnant lady awaited the arrival of her husband and then lept (i know very dangerous) into her husbands arms. A set of grandparents picked up their grand kids! If I didn't know better - I would sware I was pregnant! I was so emotional! If you ever feel like you could use a good cry - seriously go sit at the airport and people watch. Its creepy but it works.
I am exhausted! So tonight, I leave you with thoughts about airports. enjoy.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Saturday Morning.
Good Morning! I thought about this all night, and since I have a free moment I don't want to lose this in the mass ideas that I get throughout the day!
Philippians 2:1-4 New King James Version
1 Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, 2 fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.All night I thought about the challenge of successfully completing a year of total selflessness. The hardest challenge isn't time or money. There is a true challenge that comes with being humble. You are no longer the leader. Synonyms for Humble include: meek, submissive, unassuming, plain, common. With a degree that was concentrated in LEADERSHIP STUDIES sometimes its hard to realize you aren't always the strong, proud noble leader and that in most philanthropic scenarios the only way to learn the lessons you are receiving is to abandon all arrogance. You need to really begin to feel how the people you are helping feel. I'm going to have to learn to have faith in others as they lead me. What a challenge, what an exciting challenge!!
Today, I'm going to stay home (it feels like we are in Antarctica outside) and enjoy my family! Tomorrow I plan on going to church in Minneola, and then the family and I get to go pick up a good friend from the airport so that tomorrow we can take him back to Northwestern Oklahoma State University.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Date Night
I am so excited! Tonight I was able to go to dinner and a movie with Kirt. Kirt has a man crush on Owen Wilson so we went to see How do you know. It was an excellent movie. I really enjoyed it and my favorite line in the movie was "never drink to feel better, drink to feel even better!" toooo funny! I am so grateful to have such awesome people in my life. Ma came over to watch the boys so that Kirt and I could go enjoy the evening together! The last movie we watched together was Date Night. Its been awhile!!
On the way to and from Dodge City I had an opportunity to discuss my goals in volunteering for 2011. I was so excited to get Kirt on board! I told Kirt that my goal for this year is to inspire someone to get off the sofa and get out into the community and volunteer their services with their friends and family.
Tonight I received a very important email about doing a Swim for MS for the Multiple Sclerosis Association of America. I cannot wait to hash out all the final details so that I can share them with you!! If you would like more information or would like to get on board with this please contact me asap! email: melissa_province@student.friends.edu or add me to facebook!!
Philippians 2:4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.
I really feel like this says it all. I might just have to add this to the top of my blog. How often do we forget to look at the interests of others? How selfish. When we begin to take everyone's interests into consideration that is when we transform in to selfless individuals. Then, we will be able to be humbled and we will truly understand what its like to walk in someone elses shoes.
1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart and a humble mind.
Its so refreshing to know that we all posses the ability to be of service to others. It was given to us as a gift - we decide as to whether or not we keep, use and pass this gift on.
On the way to and from Dodge City I had an opportunity to discuss my goals in volunteering for 2011. I was so excited to get Kirt on board! I told Kirt that my goal for this year is to inspire someone to get off the sofa and get out into the community and volunteer their services with their friends and family.
Tonight I received a very important email about doing a Swim for MS for the Multiple Sclerosis Association of America. I cannot wait to hash out all the final details so that I can share them with you!! If you would like more information or would like to get on board with this please contact me asap! email: melissa_province@student.friends.edu or add me to facebook!!
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Two very important bible verses I couldn't wait to share :DPhilippians 2:4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.
I really feel like this says it all. I might just have to add this to the top of my blog. How often do we forget to look at the interests of others? How selfish. When we begin to take everyone's interests into consideration that is when we transform in to selfless individuals. Then, we will be able to be humbled and we will truly understand what its like to walk in someone elses shoes.
1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart and a humble mind.
Its so refreshing to know that we all posses the ability to be of service to others. It was given to us as a gift - we decide as to whether or not we keep, use and pass this gift on.
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Thursday, January 6, 2011
Here it Goes!
I have been promising to blog forever now! I'm sure that if you follow me, you know me - but just in case: My name is Melissa Province. I am married to Kirt Province, together and by the Grace of God we have two beautiful boys Autry & Brody. I am a stay at home mother, and I wouldn't change that for the world!
I feel the urge to step on a soap box real fast -
I cannot stand when people say "Oh, so you just stay at home?" REALLY!!! really? I'm going to jump on my soap box for just a minute. Yes, I stay at home - that is in the title STAY AT HOME MOTHER but I assure you it's not all beer and skittles. I don't get to sit around and eat Truffles and watch Dr. Phil and all his daytime cronies. Also, it shocks me when people assume that means you are uneducated if you stay at home. Just for the record I have a Bachelor or Science in Organizational Management from Friends University. Thank U!
(Stepping off my Soap Box.)
This new year I made several resolutions and I really hope I can keep up with all of them! I wanted to create this blog so that I could have a better connection with my family and friends. Sometimes I feel like we live too far away to be able to enjoy each other - really that's not true!! I really hope this blog keeps a connection with everyone whether we live in the same town or states even countries away!!
Another resolution I made was to get into a slimmer shape. I don't want to pin a number on it - I would just like to be another shape - I have been round for too long now!
Finally, I told myself that this year I will make a difference in the lives of others. I stay at home and I love that!! but I could use my time a little more wisely - and so I am going to do more volunteer work this year. I really want to encourage you guys to stay tuned because I have a lot of exciting things in the works and trust me: You wont want to be left out!
I feel the urge to step on a soap box real fast -
I cannot stand when people say "Oh, so you just stay at home?" REALLY!!! really? I'm going to jump on my soap box for just a minute. Yes, I stay at home - that is in the title STAY AT HOME MOTHER but I assure you it's not all beer and skittles. I don't get to sit around and eat Truffles and watch Dr. Phil and all his daytime cronies. Also, it shocks me when people assume that means you are uneducated if you stay at home. Just for the record I have a Bachelor or Science in Organizational Management from Friends University. Thank U!
(Stepping off my Soap Box.)
This new year I made several resolutions and I really hope I can keep up with all of them! I wanted to create this blog so that I could have a better connection with my family and friends. Sometimes I feel like we live too far away to be able to enjoy each other - really that's not true!! I really hope this blog keeps a connection with everyone whether we live in the same town or states even countries away!!
Another resolution I made was to get into a slimmer shape. I don't want to pin a number on it - I would just like to be another shape - I have been round for too long now!
Finally, I told myself that this year I will make a difference in the lives of others. I stay at home and I love that!! but I could use my time a little more wisely - and so I am going to do more volunteer work this year. I really want to encourage you guys to stay tuned because I have a lot of exciting things in the works and trust me: You wont want to be left out!
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