Such a Good Day

　
It is no secret that it has been a week from hell for some of us. It has been a nightmare, that you cant wake up from. I truly believe the answer to the question "why" will never appear. I have asked myself why a hundred million times regarding 100 million situations - and not once have I ever been given an obvious answer.

Sunday, I decided to wrap up the week by going to a new church. We love our church and church family in Ashland but it is a struggle to get kids clean, dressed, loaded and off to church with out a 35 mile drive. The church we picked is just around the corner. I really believe God sent us to this church. First of all the pastor is an Oklahoma State Alumni which makes Kirt excited because there is finally an okstate fan in this part of he country. The best thing about Sunday & church was that I was able to meet a very nice couple who not only are neighbors (they live behind us) but she stays at home & hosts women’s bible studies. I love to have a network of stay-at-home moms because believe it or not sometimes people really look down at you when you offer your profession.

The best thing about Sunday night was that my family came over for dinner. We grilled hamburgers & like the awesome big sister I am I helped Landon with his science project and slogan for the element Calcium. Being the slowly maturing 8^th grader that he is we decided that while “Get a bone.” is funny that it would likely cause a total uproar from the boys and cause the teacher to not be very thrilled. . . I honestly don’t know which of the 20 we came up with he will chose.

Today was an awesome day - Kirt was off for Presidents Day! We had a great day of R&R which was much needed. My morning started off by me receiving and email stating that I was chosen to be an Ambassador for The official Three Day for a cure!!! I cannot tell you how excited I am about this news!!

I am so excited to continue on this road of adventure and leadership. Just wanted to leave you with one of my most favorite quotes.

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.
~John Quincy Adams

bring in spring

Its official I have the fever. Not baby fever. Spring fever. I’m so ready for spring - but in the back of my mind there’s a voice of reason saying its only February, and we’re in for one more snow. Ok. So, I know that its some kind of sick rule that mother nature rarely fails to follow but its become a rule that it always snows the first week of track season.

Im so excited because Kirt gets a 3 day weekend, and I have lots of spring projects in store for him.
First - we are going to try Strie. It’s a fancy word for dragging. I have decided to take this opportunity to try a new faux technique in my living room. Now I need to pick a color and get some paint.
Next, its time to clean out the garage! YAY! Sounds like a blast …

Today the boys and I planted a garden. This garden is a temporary indoor garden. We planted black eyed susans, forget me nots, carnations and delphiniums. This garden was a side effect of my spring fever.

Finally, the most important projects for the weekend include fixing up our soon to be rental property in Ashland and moving our hot tub to our new home.

Keeping busy is starting to get a little easier. I have been looking into several DIY projects that I want to be able to accomplish … now I just have to gather all of the materials and get started.

On Sunday. February 13^th I found out that a very close friend had passed away. This is a tough loss for me for several reasons. I want to share with you one of my greatest memories of Clayton.

Clayton was one of the kindest people you would ever know. He was one of the very first people to speak to me when I moved to Meade. He seemed shy at first, but once you got to know him he very open and out going. We could always count on him for a great laugh. Clayton and I were track buddies. Both of us throw shot, disc and javelin. Clayton was one of the few people to be very patient with me while he taught me how to properly be a “thrower.” At practice I drove him nuts on a daily basis, but he never told me I did. He would always shake his head and smile. At a track meet in Greely I threw my personal best, as always Clayton was there with me and when we knew I had thrown my best he told me “Keahey, I know I will never say this again but that was a damn good shot!” Ha! He was an excellent teacher, friend, and teammate.

Today (Friday) is his funeral. It is sure to be an emotional day…

Life in a Northern Town

Have you ever dreamed of gazing with wonder at the Northern Lights? I dream of getting the opportunity to watch this phenomenon dance before my eyes.

Eskimos once believed that the lights were the dancing spirits of children who died at birth. How beautiful is this theory?

Some people believed the lights to be a sign of Gods Anger. How could such a beautiful light show be theorized as Gods anger? Ok, so this is a fairly ancient theory and I understand how it could have been derived. I just have to go on the optimistic side here and say that the electric splendor of this show would have never made me question Gods mood. I’m very sure that the rarity of this magnificent display is God cheering from the Heavens.

Today, the Japanese believe that a child conceived under the dancing lights will be granted fortune and good luck. I love this theory too. It is no secret that I am a hopeless romantic. This theory makes my heart skip beats -

Last April, when Kirt and I hit rock bottom, I started a bucket list. It was a spiritual, financial, marital drought that just kept falling. When we finally hit the bottom of the well - the well was dry. There was nothing there to break our fall. We fell long and we fell hard. There were a few injuries to our egos but other than that we just suffered minor scrapes, bruises and set backs.

Ok, so it sounds like a terrible time to start such a list… but really I think it’s the most perfect time. I am a Dreamer. I dream big every single day. Literally there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t share a new dream, aspiration, target or desire with Kirt. So, for me Rock bottom meant the only direction I could go was UP… and UP was where I wanted to be. I started a note book to keep track of all of the things I want to complete in my lifetime. Just a few things on my list include:

I would like to teach my children to ride a bike.

I would like to run or walk in a marathon as long as I complete it.

I would like to start a blog & keep a steady flow of writings posted to it (WOO! HOO!! I am doing this)

I would like to travel to Alaska, and experience an Alaskan Adventure.

I would like to own a home! (I completed this one!! It was my first to complete)

I seriously want to encourage those of you who are down on your luck to go get a notebook and a pen and begin to write out a bucket list. There are plenty of good websites that will give you tons of information on how to get started. When life gets a little shaky look at your bucket list and remember that its ok to dream. Someday you will be able to accomplish the goals you have set forth for yourself. Crossing off goals that are on your list is so liberating.

I cant wait until I get to experience an Alaskan Adventure. I hope I can top it all off with a witness of the most astonishing light show in all of the earth.

Love With Out Conditions

One of the hardest things for us to do is love without conditions. Jesus loves everyone one of us unconditionally. As Human beings we tend to naturally place conditional stipulations on all of our relationships. Like, we expect that our friends, family, boyfriends, husbands, wife’s are going to do something to fail anyways. So we just say I Love(d) you but only until you mess up, which will happen, but until then we can love. Now come on. That’s just insane. People really do expect their relationships to fail before the relationship begins.

I have done it. I am mature enough to admit that I wasn’t able to love unconditionally. I think sometimes I struggle with this. I think that the way you learn to have an unconditional love for someone is to filter back through all of you failed relationships and discover what it was that went wrong. Then, knowing that you have faults you can accept the idea that no relationship will ever be perfect, thus leaving the theory “Something is going to go wrong anyways” behind. You are right something will go wrong every now and then…knowing how to repair the problem means you have decided to love without conditions.

Disclaimer: I told Kirt that I was going to do this list…. So don’t freak out. Besides the fact that I have always been open and honest with him about my past boyfriends. When we discussed this blog, we both agreed that God has a plan for everyone and there was a reason why each trial failed.

In High School I dated a guy who was older than me. I thought I was absolutely in love. I date him for 4 years and “loved” him unconditionally. Maybe when you are younger you are more capable of leaving the conditions behind. This relationship was thought by many, to be a forever lasting relationship. Then, I went to college. Still dating this guy, I began seeing several other guys.

The first guy was a football player. He was (still is) one of the nicest, kindest people you will ever meet. Looking back I didn’t break up with my boyfriend because I was afraid to lose a relationship if this new one didn’t work out. I really liked Mr. Football. He was in several of my classes. I ate lunch and dinner with him everyday. He had the most beautiful eyes you have ever gazed into. He was “perfect” and I couldn’t have him because I was afraid to fall. I don’t think he would have ever dropped me…but I wasn’t able to let go of the relationship I was in. Mr. Football, I am so sorry for not trusting you to catch me when I fall.

A year of hays, a broken relationship, and bad grades later - I moved home. I couldn’t live at home, it was driving me crazy so I moved to Albuquerque. That’s when I called off my 4 year relationship. While I was in ABQ I learned several lessons. The most important lesson was that you don’t have to be boyfriend and girlfriend to go on a date. This doesn’t make you a sleeze ball because you go out with different people.

I went to the movies a couple times with a student who was interning at Solaria. He would pick me up and we would go grab dinner, watch a movie and then I would go home. It was a lot like a friendship except we kissed goodnight….I don’t kiss my guy friends… so this was definitely dating.

I went bowling, and to a Mexican food restaurant which lead to the biggest epic fail ever. That was fun. Lesson was learned there. (story in a previous blog)

I dated a guy exclusively for a couple months. I really like him a lot. This was my hardest lesson in love. I have blogged about this previously. I fell “madly in love” with this guy. He was everything you ever wanted in someone. Gentle, loving, polite. He was much older (12 years older), and a lot more mature than I was. I would go to bed at night thinking that this was the man that I was supposed to marry. I know what went wrong… more than one thing…. But most importantly neither one of us started the relationship out telling the truth. The relationship may have been “perfect” because we lied to make it work.

So, the lessons I have learned thus far: Trust that you wont get hurt, and its ok to explore your options and go out with someone for dinner. But, if you have to pay all the time unless you go to his place of work where he gets a discount its probably a HUGE NO Bueno!! And finally, you have to start out having an honest relationship -

Well my mom became pregnant and I moved home in the late spring so that I could attend college closer. The plan was to attend OPSU so that I wasn’t too far from home. Over the summer I taught swimming lessons, saved money and began new relationships.

I formed a beautiful friendship with a guy who was a little younger then me, but so very mature for his age. I think that this relationship was amazing. There was so much passion and we never even went beyond kissing. You could just feel the unconditional love that surrounded this relationship. I can only speak for myself, but I think we both agreed that there was no way this relationship could work until we were both in college. We also knew that if we dated it would be incredibly hard to maintain a long distance relationship. We promised each other that we would wait for each other, we would finish college together and we would get married. Every dream we had we shared and we never once judged each other for their ambitions. I still care so deeply for this person. I don’t think he will ever know how much he still means to me.

Well, the plan was to go to OPSU. Over the summer I began talking to Kirt. I think our relationship took off like wild fire. We couldn’t go without seeing each other. We prayed for rain, so that he could have a day off from the long harvest hours. I couldn’t wait to see him. I would sneak over to Ashland to hang out even if it was only for an hour. We called things off about a month into dating. When I look back and really think about all of this I realize that Kirt never really officially asked me out … So he called things off after about a month of hanging out. I was devastated!! I knew that we would never be able to maintain a relationship from OPSU to NWOSU. I had applied and been accepted to NWOSU, and already intended on attending as a Ranger in the fall. Sometime after the fourth of July I remember Kirt asked if I would come hang out again. I did. It was amazing how not awkward it was even though I knew he didn’t want to have a relationship with me. It was too long after that we assumed we were dating I ended up attending NWOSU with my friend. He never asked me out. Our relationship took off quickly. I trusted that he wouldn’t ever hurt me again. I trusted that we were both honest to begin with, I knew that we could love with out worrying about long distances or bad dates. A friend of his wanted us to break up so badly. We got past that real quickly. Before he would ask me to be his wife. Yes, 6 short months of dating and he proposed. No surprise really. We were married 2 years after that.

I truly believe that my previous relationships were stepping stones toward a future relationship. I’m sure that for some people I was a great learning tool also. I believe that you cant form healthy relationships if you haven’t learned from your past mistakes. We have to learn to love unconditionally, without pre-game jitters, without stipulations, and without expectations. We have to learn to be vulnerable and leave assumptions behind.

Paradise Falls

If you haven’t sat down to watch the movie UP, you are seriously missing out. That movie is extremely heart warming. I love everything about it. It takes you through a very aged love that some of us forget to appreciate. As little kids they made promises to each other that they would do all sorts of things in this bucket list. Buy a home, have a baby, retire and move to paradise falls.

I watched this movie recently and realized that I really wasn’t sure where Kirt & my paradise falls would be. We took a honey moon to Puerto Rico. That was absolutely amazing. It was a lush paradise nestled amongst a tropical rainforest. Absolutely beautiful. I don’t think I would want to retire there though. If I could chose anywhere in the world to retire I would chose Alaska no questions asked.

Alaska? Yep. First of all 30 days of night sounds amazing. I have always wanted to hibernate during the long weather months. I cant imagine how romantic it would be to be able to watch the Northern Lights with someone you love. Kirt could fish and hunt and be manly all day long which is great- I love when I can shuffle him out the door!! Alaska is majestic, and so is a love that can endure years of trials and tribulations. For me, this would be the ultimate paradise falls.

I think that its important in any marriage that you begin to look forward to your years you will spend in your personal paradise. It gives you a lot to work for, strive for and believe in. You need something to aspire to achieve. You should be able to say “This is something I have always dreamed about doing.“ What good is life if you cant dream?


Tonight: Have a discussion with your significant other about where their paradise falls might be!

Love Like The Movies

　
Wouldn’t it be amazing if our love could be like the love we witness in the movies? Well friends, I have great news! It can!

Think about love in the movies? What is so different about it? Well, let me enlighten you. In the movies, you see this beautiful romance… It never fails, two people love each other, then there’s a problem and WOAH! The break up. Sounds familiar right? Then, the two people in the movies always seem to find each other again and live happily ever after.

Don’t tell me that this isn’t how it happens in the “real-world.” I’m not an expert in relationships at all. I have had my share and most of them failed. Isn’t that life? I have always been under the impression that only one will win. Only one should win…. And if it doesn’t, that’s another movie.

I have been in several leading rolls. It’s true. For instance, when I fell in love for the first time. I had never loved so deeply until I had met “Tony.” … Tony had resided in my apartment complex. He was beautiful, drove a fantastic vehicle and served me drinks when I went to his place of work. I was 19 so the drink part was kind of a big deal. Sometimes after work he would call me and ask if he could come over. I would wait on my balcony until I saw him pull in. My heart would skip beats when I would see his face or hear his voice. He would come over with flowers, wine, chocolate, a movie. We would lay in bed and watch a movie and then…..FALL ASLEEP. No really we would fall asleep. I always thought that he didn’t want more because he was super nice and gentleman like or maybe he didn't dig my lovely lady lumps. Boy was I wrong. He wasn’t into me, or any other human being that had girl privates. Sound like a movie?

Here’s another leading role I unintentionally landed. I met a guy who was super handsome. Every day he would make a point to drop into my office and say Hello. It was nice, he was nice, so I went out with him. He took me to a very expensive restaurant. So sexy. We ate steaks, shrimp, shared dessert, drank some martinis….racked up a real fine bill. Then he “forgot” his wallet and I paid. Should have been my first sign, but that would have made the movie too short. I continued to date this guy. He asked me out again and swore he wouldn’t forget his wallet. I went. We went to a Mexican restaurant. He knew all the waiters. O!! he worked here. I’m not above a waiter. I thought he was taking me for some good eats….. He took me out so he wouldn’t have to pay full price for our dinner. He told me “Order all you want I get a discount.” Maybe that would have been a great second hint, but I couldn’t take it - he was far to sexy and I chose to ignore that sign. Besides if you get a discount I think you should utilize it! Wouldn’t you? Of course you would - it’s a movie and you have to have enough material. After that dinner he took me to his house. This house was absolutely beautiful. It was huge and there was something too good to be true about this bachelor waiter living in one of the biggest homes I have ever been in. Then I noticed it had a ton of pictures of little kids. Are those your kids I asked? No those are my nieces and nephews.. O!! that’s so sweet!!! He went upstairs and drew me a bath in his parents room. First thought? I stink? Second thought and an arm pit sniff later I realize I smell like cherry blossoms and he just wants me naked. I go upstairs to the master bedroom….wine in tow and see that the bedding in this bedroom was far to beautiful to be his. Next thing I notice is all the women’s clothing in a walk in closet. Great. He’s married and has kids. I’m the mistress. NO! Not even close. I would have killed to have been the mistress in this movie. Instead, I take a closer look at the clothing and realize this is Mr. Wonderful parent home. Not getting naked tonight! I phoned a good friend to come to my rescue. I thanked this sexy idiot for a “wonderful” evening and ran like there was a piece of chocolate waiting for me in the car. EPIC. FAIL. Sound like a movie?

Finally friends, my most favorite romantic comedy. I married a back woods boy from the rural roads of Oklahoma. Romantic he is not. Brad Pitt, well that would be a stretch. I married Larry the Cable Guy. The most romantic present I have received in 6 valentines days was a fish. I know someone laughed at this. That is exactly why my marriage is a romantic comedy. If you asked Kirt and I to separately plan a Romantic Get-Away, money is not an issue, I know what the answer would be. So, friends here is the movie: Larry, or Kirt, wins a contest. He is getting an all expense paid trip for 2 anywhere in the world. He is so excited and comes home to tell his wife the great news. Melissa is so excited! Finally, something more romantic than a bug-eyed goldfish!! Where are we going!!?? Drummmmm Roooolllll PLEEEEEASE!!!

Lake Texoma!!!!! Pack your bags big mama or old lady (his terms of endearment) were going Stiper Fishing…..

For the record, if I could have a dream get-away for romantic valentines day I would love to share a kiss with the Eiffel Tower as my back drop. But, instead I will be striper fishing. I don’t even know what a striper fish is so I should probably Google that when I’m done here.

Don’t tell me that people wouldn’t pay money to see that movie!

Life isn’t about wishing you had love like the love that is on the big screen. Life is about finding the parts of your life that are better than the love that is featured on the silver screen. Everyone has the ability to find the love that is written in those scripts, you just have to watch carefully. Maybe you are already living a good movie and you just don’t realize it.

Stop worrying about what you don’t have. Learn to appreciate the love that you do have. You control your love story.

So that’s cliché? Well, I don’t understand why you can write your own love story. What is it that would make life more romantic for you? You have to open the lines of communication. I have had to tell kirt a million and ¾ times how unromantic he is. He finally got it for the first time in 6 years! Explain? Sure!

I like to think that I am always thinking about other people. I like to make sure that everyone in my life experiences a sentimental gift. These gifts never have to cost money, and will always make you feel good. Love notes are a start. I like to leave little sentiments on jolly ranchers and send them with Kirt in his pocket. When he finds a jolly rancher with a little note attached that reads “I Love You.”

Recently - and I really do mean after 6 years of zero romantic notions … Kirt brought me flowers, balloons, and reese pieces. He knew that I was heartbroken. I was so excited even though I was so empty from my loss. I knew that what Kirt did for me was heartfelt and sincere.

You may have to encourage your significant other to be more sentimental and you may have to do this a lot - but it will happen. It shouldn’t be a one way situation though. You cant ask the other person to be more romantic if you aren’t as romantic and heartfelt as you can be at all times. Kirt caught on to the trend, and I really think that there will be big changes in our marriage because he said it felt really good to surprise me and make me so happy. You really do write your own love story. If at anytime you feel like you are doing too much work, then its not the love story you are interested in. 6 years of solid commitment to molding Kirt into a Love Struck hopeless romantic took a lot of patience. It’s the fact that I didn’t ever give up on the hope that someday he would catch the craze that is the real love story. 　

Box of Chocolates

Sometimes things just taste better when you add a little chocolate. Unfortunately most things that are covered in chocolate are bad for you when consumed in large quantities.

Think about it - You want to indulge yourself in the Rich, Creamy, Sensational taste of a chocolate truffle. You consume one, and it catches you by surprise. Nothing has ever tasted this delicate and pleasurable before and so you consume another. Its not long before you have finished the entire box and you have to begin searching for an alibi. I like to pretend like the dog got into my goods and consumed the entire box.

Maybe eating an entire box of chocolates will only land you in bed with a stomach ache. Sometimes we are willing to live with the consequence. Its worth the pain because the temporary satisfaction of the lush chocolate melting in your mouth was enough to put your worst day at ease.

Every Valentines day my mother buys me a box of chocolates. It is so sweet! Every time I get a box of chocolates I am extremely cautious about which ones I consume. Ok, I’m going to admit a weird fact but … I bite a little corner off of every piece before I consume them! It keeps everyone out of my chocolates lol, but that’s not why! I hate, hate, hate the orange cream chocolates…there are some other pretty nasty ones too but that one is the WORST. SO, I bite a little bit of the edge off of everyone until I find the one and only coconut candy. I eat it - and im done with the entire box of chocolates. Weird? Sure, but intelligent too! I’m very cautious of what I’m consuming. Just tossing any piece of candy in your mouth could end badly.

What happens when the “chocolate” really makes us sick? Recently I was talking to a girl friend of mine who had finally “found love.” She told me that he was perfect. He treated her and her daughter like they were royalty. He was rich, royal and regal - just like your favorite bon-bon. I talked to her on and off about her and checked in to see how life was treating her. It was about a year, when “Kate” got beat up. After she told me I was just sick. Kate admitted that there was a “sugar” coating and that she had indulged in this lust for quite a while now. She knew the warning signs, but failed to listen to them. See, when things are sugar coated or chocolate covered we ignore sometimes we indulge without thinking about the consequences.

Have you ever seen a picture of a chocolate covered grasshopper? They look like milk duds. I cant imagine consuming one of these “delicacies” but that’s the point. If you don’t know what you’re really going to get, but you know you love chocolate - your might take the risk. While, sometimes risks can be rewarding they can also mean you have landed yourself and epic fail.
　
I think that one of life’s hardest lessons is to understand that while we enjoy things that are coated with delightful outside …. Sometimes that same thing is better raw. A strawberry would be amazing to consume with or without the extra topping…. How many of you would crunch on a big ol’ grasshopper?

Beware of the chocolate coating…. But take risks too! Sometimes you get lucky!